For as long as I can remember, I've been surrounded by women. Not smothered under them like one of my pubescent dreams or current dreams for that matter. But women in my family and women in my social circle. I remember a conversation that me and my dad had one time and he was explaining that ever since i was in kindergarten, I always gravitated towards to the opposite sex. Not because I had some arterial motive, but because I always felt a a sense of comfort with them, but for a few reasons. The women in my family did a wonderful job raising me. My sister who I talk to every so often but who is my absolute world. My dads mother, who use was southern to the bone so much that she use to tell me to go get a switch out back when I use to act up( fat chance, never got the damn switch). Probably the only reason I spent 2 years down south when I was little. My grandmother also did a marvelous job. The woman was an absolute saint. She made sure I knew why I was being taught certain lessons. And of course there's my Mom. The sparkle in my eye, the air I breathe, my heart that beats. She was this planets gift which is why I wish she was still present. It always seemed like she knew something I didn't which was most likely true because when I was young I thought I knew it all.
I'm a people watcher by nature. Not in some creepy old man with wrinkled balls way. But more like a student watching and listening to their favorite professor lecture. I'm so interested in the human condition. I love find out what makes certain individuals. I often get into Facebook debates and most people think I'm argumentative and combative. It becomes frustrating at times because I just want to understand situations and people in its entirety. People need to realize that you can only start become the better version of yourself when you have a greater understanding of the things around.
As I paid close attention to the women that raised me, the woman I've befriended and the random women I hear talking when I walk the streets, I've noticed one glaring fact. None of them exude the self confidence and beauty that the rest of the world sees in them. And quite frankly, it makes me cry inside. They tend to bash themselves any chance they get as If its a game or something. They think their hips are too wide, or their eyes are to little. Its seems like they are never happy with their physical appearance. I've been a personal trainer for the last 10 years and I've trained well over 500 woman and i'd say 90% suffer from this same affliction. But my question is, when did it start? Was it bad programming as a kid? Was there a group of girls who use to make fun of you and call you ugly and say cunty things? Was it the ex boyfriend who use to call you fat because of his own insecurities? Or maybe your own mother use to hint about you dropping a few pounds. Well honestly I have 2 words for those people.
FUCK THEM! You'll find that most people have some insecurity issues. Of course no one is perfect. Even as I made that last statement, I think to my self, who deems what is perfect anyway? Of course you have your models, and commercials and the media seems to act like that they know what beauty is. Bullshit! L'Oreal and Mac aren't the spokespeople for beauty just like Victoria Secret's and Calvin Klein models aren't the benchmark for woman. Yes the media seems to winning the smoke and mirrors war but you can also thank the people at Photoshop for the perfect figures and perfect skin you see in magazine ads. Ever see Beyonce or Katy Perry without make-up? Beyonce looks like Jay-z and and Katy Perry looks like a homeless hippy,
Perception is not reality. Most will argue it is but its not. Somewhere along the line, all sense of perspective was lost. You started looking outward instead of inward. You started comparing yourself to other women you saw who seemed to have it all together physically.Nope. I've trained some of those women. Their just as fucked in the head if not more. Either they don't like their body or they feel constant pressure trying to maintain it. Most women complain about cellulite. Well if most women have it, wouldn't that make you part of the norm and not the outcast you think you are? A lot of women complain about wrinkles. Both of those are hereditary. Its all about how you look at things. My Mom had wrinkles. Its only because she smiled and laughed than most.
Bottom line is be proud of your "imperfect" body. Stop being hard on yourself. If others are saying your beautiful, and that's what you're striving to be then listen to your real friends and don't pay attention to unimportant opinions or irrelevant social muses. Find a balance. Find the things you do appreciate about your beauty and build on that.
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